We white people have failed our fellow white people. In our efforts to advance racial justice, we chose to leave our fellow white people behind. And these are the very people who have come to resent “political correctness.” These are the people who feel like no one cares about the ways in which they also face oppression. This is how they found a friend in Donald Trump.
I often laugh with my friends because for years the media and politicians used the term “The Gay Agenda” to describe some big, scary set of goals that queer people wanted to push on everyone's children. But, it's true. We do have an agenda (at least I do). Only we're not trying to turn your kids into perverts... we're trying to turn them into compassionate, loving people.
Honestly, I’ve never really felt like a dad. The things that I do for my family and my kids on a daily basis don’t seem to encompass how dads are portrayed in the media or in our culture. I suppose I could set out to redefine what it means to be a dad, but there is already a word that feels more appropriate to me: mom.
Suddenly, my nights were spent soothing my crying baby. I was constantly flustered and scrambling to get my shit together. My once clean and tidy house became a whirlwind of shoes, toys, and an embarrassing amount of food crumbs. The same things began to happen to my personal appearance (including the crumbs). Bathing my children and making breakfast became a bit more important than fixing my hair. I started to find that the jeans that made my ass look good weren't the pants I wanted to wear to curl up on the couch and read children's books. I stopped noticing myself and so did everyone else. I stopped feeling sexy.
This is the second blog in my series on parenting with a social justice focus. In each post, I start with a specific parenting situation that I found a way to bungle through. Then I cover what my big-picture parenting goals were, in that scenario. Finally, I'll give a few tips and tricks for how to navigate similar situations in your own parenting life. Hopefully, others will learn from my mistakes.
Parenting is hard. It involves managing so many priorities and the stakes are high. One of the more annoying parts about parenting is the culture around it. Everyone thinks THEY know what YOU should do with your child. It tends to include an endless barrage of blog posts, articles, books, even full movements... all centered around the idea that parenting is some static practice that should function in the same way, regardless of the parent or child.
This is the first in my series on parenting with a social justice focus. In each post, I’ll start with a specific parenting situation that I found a way to bungle through. Then I’ll cover what my big-picture parenting goals were, in that scenario. Finally, I'll give a few tips and tricks for how to navigate similar situations in your own parenting life. Hopefully, others will learn from my mistakes.