Some Other Time
I have lots of ideas. It sounds like a brag, but it's not. At all. It's a curse, which my partner Biff will attest to.
I over-schedule us, buy tickets to events we can't attend, under-plan trips we take, and otherwise let the clutter of my brain and heart spill out into every aspect of our lives. To combat this chaos, I end up creating mental lists of things I want to do "some other time" but never quite get to. Almost everything on this list is something I want to do by myself. I just hate the idea of leaving Biff to deal with all three kids so I can do something fun, which means I just add more things to that list... and never end up doing them.
Sofar Sounds is one of those things. The idea behind Sofar Sounds is to get music performances back to what they should be-- people in a room listening to amazing music. Period. No crazy lights, long lines, drunk people, opening acts that everyone hates, people screaming at each other over the music, disgusting bathrooms without stalls... none of that. Just surprise hand-selected musicians at secret intimate venues around the city.
I don't remember how I first found out about Sofar Sounds but I LOVED the idea. I applied once or twice for tickets but never got selected. So I stopped applying. I would get the emails but just archived them, assuming I wouldn't be able to get tickets, I'd feel guilty asking Biff if I could go, and wouldn't be able to find anyone to go with.
But this is the season of saying yes. Of finding those no's and not-yet's in my life and turning them into yesses.
So I applied for tickets this month... and won! I bought two (they are cheap, at $15 a pop) and put it on the calendar! One of my fears did come to pass-- I didn't find anyone to go with. As the time to leave approached, I felt the usual panic come up.
What if the event is stupid and the bands suck and I'm stuck there and can't leave? Why couldn't I find anyone to go with... why don't I have any friends? It's so hot out. What if there's no air conditioning? I should just stay home and take care of the kids.
I forced myself to pick up the keys, kiss Biff goodbye, and just... go. The show was in a coworking space in the Industrial district of inner southeast Portland.
And you know what? I did sit alone, but the place was packed so it didn't matter. It was bright in the venue (which is usually a coworking space) and there was no smoke, bar, or yelling. The first act was the amazing singer-songwriter Blind J Wakins. Next up was a harpist named EllaHarp. They closed the night out with a hip-hop jazz quintet, Apollo Bebop. It was a beautiful evening of new music I'd never heard before!
I just couldn't believe I almost missed out on this amazing intimate experience, all because I was embarrassed to go alone and didn't want to leave Biff alone for two hours with our children.
The Season of Yes strikes again. I wonder what else I've said "some other time" to?
Could I say "now" instead?