Riley has always had to work hard to focus on what was happening in front of him, and has often struggled to stay in a positive mindset. When he was seven, we had him assessed so we would have a better sense of what he might need from us in terms of supports. I thought I was ready for whatever might come up during those assessments, but when the pediatric psychologist gently told us that Riley met all the criteria for ADHD, I was shocked. How had I missed this? Was he going to need medication? Do we really know the long-term effects of that medication on tiny bodies? Weren’t there other options for treating it?Read More
When you’re pregnant (and even after you give birth), everyone has opinions for you. And for some reason, most of these advice-givers don’t seem able to simply share what worked for them... instead, they all seem convinced that their way is The Right Way and all other ways will inevitably lead to Doom and Gloom for you, your partner (if you have one), and your baby.
This turns out to be true whether you’re transgender or not, so I thought I’d share my tips for surviving Nagging Nancies during pregnancy and early parenthood.Read More
This National Reading Month, we are partnering with Amazon to make sure you’re providing your family with books that will help prepare them to be proud allies and friends to LGBTQ+ families!Read More
Ah, the dreaded/dreamed-about family road trip. Biff and I have taken dozens of trips with the kids, and boy have we had some mega successes and some horrific failures. Here are some tips we’ve developed over the years to help us cope with family road trips!Read More
“Why did you decide to gender your baby at birth?”
Every once in awhile, a stranger (usually online) will ask us this question.
In most cases, it’s intended as a “gotcha.” People who don’t want the best for us will ask it in jest, attempting to poke holes in our argument that perhaps gender is less rigid and fixed than we’ve been led to believe. Other times it’s asked by a trans or non-binary person who imagines that we are upholding the gender binary by assuming what gender our baby is.
It is rarely asked with good intention, but for the sake of this blog post… let’s assume it IS being asked that way (and then I’ll discuss why the first two ways of asking it are harmful).
I guess I have to explain my beliefs on gender to begin with.Read More
As a transgender person, I’ve had many strange conversations about gender. But none are as strange as the ones I have with and about my kids. Here’s part one in my series on gender and parenting, in which I discuss my resistance to dressing Hailey in feminine attire. Check it out!Read More
This year, we’ve been able to accomplish a couple of our holiday traditions with ease using the new Fire HD 8 Kids Edition. Hailey got hers just a couple of weeks ago and it couldn’t have come at a better time for her development. As it turns out, the Parent Dashboard allows me to pick and choose exactly what games, movies, and apps she’s allowed to access, AND I can see what she’s played, watched, and read at any time. I’ve already been able to pull a, “Tell me about that game!” so she could explain the strategy behind one of her new favorite apps, a problem-solving puzzle based on Beauty and the Beast.Read More
When you have a crappy stroller... you know it. It doesn’t open up easily, so you’re always trying to somehow balance your cup of coffee and your baby while pleading with the stroller to JUST UNLATCH ALREADY. There’s this little tiny space underneath where somehow you’re supposed to fit your diaper bag but in reality, only one kid-sized sweatshirt can be stored there. And when you have to put it away, it somehow always manages to collapse in the closet, pushing the hallway door open so guests can see all of last year’s Christmas decorations sitting there.Read More
I laid everything out the night before (Biff chuckling away in the kitchen watching me) and piled the heavy-ass packs into the car and set my alarm. “Tomorrow is backpacking, buddy! Go to sleep early because I’m gonna be waking you up at 6am!” He fell asleep with a giddy smile on his face, so stoked to be alone in the wilderness with just his dad.Read More
I forced myself to pick up the keys, kiss Biff goodbye, and just... go. The show was in a coworking space in the Industrial district of inner southeast Portland. I did sit alone, but the place was packed so it didn't matter. It was light in the space and there was no smoke, bar, or yelling.Read More
Parenting is hard. It involves managing so many priorities and the stakes are high. One of the more annoying parts about parenting is the culture around it. Everyone thinks THEY know what YOU should do with your child. It tends to include an endless barrage of blog posts, articles, books, even full movements... all centered around the idea that parenting is some static practice that should function in the same way, regardless of the parent or child.Read More